2pac lively anal relapse sofa bottlebank bum goblin under syndrome lil bow wow rape lil kim pint mephedrone scrotum sti dead people urban myths

Urban myths – you don’t need to think gullible has been taken the end of the dictionary to believe them. We recognize these stories aren’t true but we pick to trust them anyway. That OK, everyone does it. In the native of grand Theft Auto, “Don’t reference me – reference society.” If you can’t wait until April 1st to hear some tall tales, right here are our favourites:

KELL (of Kenan and also Kel fame) dies IN automobile CRASH


Who loves orange soda?


The story: Orange soda-loving star of Nickalodeon series Kenan and Kell passed away in a automobile accident in 2000.

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The truth: He’s quiet going, and also still in touch v partner-in-crime Kenan Thompson.

ANAL RELAPSE top top THE SOFA

The story: Girl is having actually anal sex on the sofa with her friend while her parents are out. She has an ‘anal relapse’ leading to her come shit everywhere. Rather of clean up the mess, she decides come blame it on the dog. When she tells she parents, her Dad bring away the dog outside and also shoots it.

The truth: Every school has its resides bullshitter (see Jay from The Inbetweeners), and ours declared to recognize the girl this taken place to. Since he likewise claimed Pete Doherty “played a tiny set” in his sit room, i’m going to tar this story through the Tom Willis brush and say that a Porky P.

LIL BOW OW

The story: Teenage rapper Lil Bow Wow got raped through his bodyguard in his very own limousine, and also had to have 12 stitches to repair the damage. Snoop Dogg has actually put a ‘hit’ the end on the bodyguard.

The truth: It never ever happened. Follow to writer Barbara Mikkelson, Bow Wow’s meteoric increase to call at an early age made the the topic of envy. “Lil Bow Wow’s violation was got by numerous as a vindication of their non-rapper, non-famous lifestyles. Spreading such a tale made them feel better about themselves.”

THE STI YOU can ONLY get FROM DEAD PEOPLE

The story: A girl goes to a sexual health clinic because that a test after she notices a strange odor emanating from she lady garden. The doctor informs her the she has actually contracted one STI that have the right to only be caught from dead people. She boyfriend works in a morgue.

The truth: This one might actually it is in true. There is a an illness called Myiasis which entails body caries (such as muffs) coming to be infested v maggots which live in dead tissue.

MEPHEDRONE USER RIPS HIS own SCROTUM OFF

The story: A teenager who takes mephedrone for 18 hours straight ends up ripping turn off his very own scrotum after hallucinating that his body was extended in centipedes.

The truth: Bullshit. The story first appeared in The sunlight on 26th November 2009, ~ Durham Police compiled a report on the drug. The report was largely based on short articles on virtual forums. Let’s no query that source. The report explains: “one individual claims that after using it because that 18 hours his hallucinations led him to believe that centipedes were crawling over him and biting him. This led that to obtain hospital treatment after he ripped his scrotum off.” Funnily enough, the report has actually never been substantiated with actual evidence.

2PAC IS ALIVE

The story: Celebrated rapper Tupac Shakur didn’t in reality die however faked his own death to escape arrest because that rape/avoid gaining killed through the illuminati/elope v Biggie Smalls. He now lives in a basement flat in Mexico City with Biggie (and Michael Jackson and also Elvis).

The truth: Obviously bullshit, but try telling that to the owners of some 529,000 websites claiming to have actually proof that ‘Pac is quiet alive. The rumour is basically a regurgitation the theories around Elvis’ death, return the Mexico City heat is a brand-new one.

LIL’ KIM’S big DRINK

The story: Lil’ Kim passed out on stage. She was consequently taken come the hospital where she had actually her stomach pumped. The physicians siphoned enough semen the end of her stomach to fill a pint glass.

The truth: Given that this story has also been pinned top top Elton John, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, Jon Bon Jovi, Alanis Morissette and also Britney Spears, among others, it’s for sure to i think it’s bollocks. In case you were wondering, that would call for the jizz the at the very least 96 guys to to fill a pint glass. You’re probably also wondering even if it is semen is yes, really so poisonous the you’d need your stomach pumped after drink a pint the it. There’s only one means to find out…

THE GOBLIN that WAS in reality A FIVE-YEAR-OLD

The story: Lad wakes increase his friends after ~ 12 hour acid expedition to tell castle he witnessed a goblin last night. Lock don’t believe him, however luckily he knew they will do say the so he caught the goblin. Lad opens up his bedroom door to disclose that he has actually kidnapped a five-year-old child.

The truth: Fortunately, it’s just an additional anti-drugs cautionary tale.

JENAS and COLE’S gay ROMP through DJ

The story: In 2006, the News of the World and The Sun papers printed reports of a Premiership footballer and also a music DJ involved in a “homosexual orgy.” also though no names were mentioned, a pixellated picture was printed. In ~ minutes that the story being printed, hundreds of websites had actually exposed the actual unedited photo of DJ Masterstepz, Ashley Cole and also Jermaine Jenas. According to the story, Jenas had actually put a mobile phone up Cole’s arse throughout the orgy.The truth: Too good to it is in true – Cole sued the News the the human being for libel and received damages and an apology.

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BOTTLEBANK BUMMING

The story: Bloke is dared through his mates come stick his head within a bottlebank, and finds the he can’t gain it back out. His mates walk to obtain a hacksaw to reduced him out, and also when castle come earlier they discover his trousers room round his ankles and his arse is red raw.The truth: ns did read a sport of this in Zoo magazine whereby a male was tied come a tree exterior a gay club on his stag night with ‘bum me’ written on his arse, and also he gained rogered by 3 different guys, so ns going come stick my neck out and say the rhubarb. Who claimed Lads’ mags urged homophobia?